Pre-chemo Hair Cut

When I was little, my mom kept my hair short.

There was the requisite childhood mishap with scissors (you should have seen the doll),

and at the age of 5 I told my mom I wanted long hair.

By second grade, I had established my "look."

The length vacillated from below my shoulders to down to my waist, was sometimes layered and sometimes blunt cut, there was a decade or so of bangs, and many years of Lucile Ball red,  but I'll spare you photos because for the vast portion of the last 42 years this creature-of-habit had essentially the same hair cut.

Me this morning:

But guess what? Chemo is going to rid me of this not-so-glorious mane, and truthfully, it's probably time for a change anyway. So rather than finding foot-long dreadlocks in my shower drain a month from now I've opted for something new. And I LOVE it!

 

 

After treatment it will probably take me 8 months to regrow my hair to even this length, so I may just stay short-and-sassy. As we were wrapping up the appointment, I asked my hairdresser how often she gets women going from long hair to short, and she said, "Not often. And most of them don't laugh through the entire process... by this point they are usually wailing that they want their long hair back."

Not me. And I'm going to continue to laugh through the entire process... ;)

xoxoxox
Kerstin

Tretament Plan

Greetings All!

It's still a bit uncomfortable to spend much time in front of the computer, so I've been slow to respond to all your encouraging messages, but it makes me so happy to hear from you all. Thank you!

I met with the oncologist, a young woman (I'm getting old enough now that doctors really start to look like Doogie Howser to me) who grew up in the Twin Cities and went to the University of Minnesota, so she is perfect for me! She confirmed that we do not need to do radiation which is more excellent news since it will shorten the treatment time and I'll avoid the extra complications of that treatment (including that radiation/reconstruction don't play well together).

I do, however, need to do four rounds of chemo, starting in early October. Each round is about three weeks apart, so that will take me to the end of the year. I plan to start out the new year in perfect health -- in January I turn 50, and in February John and I will celebrate 20 years of being together, so there is much to look forward to.

And in that list of things to look forward to is connecting with each and every one of you very, very soon!!!

Much love,
Kerstin

Exceptionally happy news!

Pathology back-- the nodes are clear!!!! The tumor was smaller than they anticipated (yay!), and it was far enough away from the chest wall that there is a chance I won't need radiation. They are calling it stage 2. The other breast showed "pre-cancerous" cells, so it's a very good thing we did the prophylactic mastectomy on that side-- don't want to go through this surgery twice! Tomorrow I see my surgeon for a follow up, then will meet with the oncologist in the afternoon to see what her treatment recommendations are. And I imagine I'll meet with the plastic surgeon soon too--he started the reconstruction during the first surgery but there are still quite a few steps to that process.

I have felt your prayers and good thoughts through every moment of this process and will continue to be carried on that flow through the remaining steps of the journey to HEALTH! Every good thought is gratefully appreciated.

Xoxoxoxox
Kerstin

Mystery flowers!

Still resting and healing... I suspect I'll see my doctor in the next couple of days to get drains removed and hear more about the plan of action. Nothing on pathology yet. I'm just enjoying my rest!!!!

I received the most gorgeous bouquet of roses yesterday from flowers.com. They came with a nice note about recovery, but it was not singed and I couldn't find any indicators on the packaging as to who might have sent them. So thank you, mystery well-wisher! They are absolutely beauuuuuuuutiful!!!!

xoxoxo
Kerstin

Original blogger back in semi-action

Hi Everbody,

First, thank you SO very much for all the kind wishes. It really gives me strength to know that you are all on my team in this march toward health. As you can imagine, I have quite a backlog of emails/phone calls/correspondence, and I do plan on touching base with everyone at some point this week, but until I get a chance to reach out to you each personally you can rest assured that we are doing very well!

I spent most of the weekend in front of the TV catching up on landscape design shows (got to get ready for our 2.6 acres!). I feel like a small garden tractor has run over my chest, and don't have a broad range of movement in my arms, but all-in-all the pain is manageable. I even went for a couple of short walks yesterday. My chest is all bandaged up like a mummy, and Johnny is an exceptional nurse, dealing with all the messy parts. Our lives are pretty simple in this little apartment and we're loaded with yummy food (thanks to John's mom and sisters), so all-in-all we're quite well taken care of. At this point all we need are continued good thoughts, so keep them coming!

As for the next steps, we await the pathology report which will give us a lot of information and set the course for follow up treatment.

Much, Much, MUCH love to you all!!!!
Kerstin

Resting at home...

John here again,
Kerstin is now resting at home. She's not yet up for phone calls as she's in a little bit of pain and tired but everything is good.

Out of surgery...

Hello, guest blogger John here.
Kerstin's out of surgery and in recovery. I should be able to see her in a bit. Everything went well but we're now back in a waiting mode to hear what the lymph node biopsy has to tell us.
We really appreciate everybody's good thoughts and we'll have more updates soon.

Surgery!!!!

Things move slowly, then things move QUICKLY. Surgery is now scheduled for tomorrow, Friday the 6th at 2:30pm. WOW. I'm soaking in all your good thoughts and prayers, so please keep them coming!!!!

Love,
Kerstin

Excellent news!

Based on the MRI and CT scan, the neurologist is very confident there is no cancer in the skull/brain. He thinks that what is showing up on those pictures is probably Padgett's disease or Fibrous Dysplasia, neither of which really concerned him. In fact he is so confident that he is not proceeding with the biopsy. YAY!

I haven't spoken with the breast care team yet, but I have to assume this means we're back to plan A, surgery and follow up treatment. I never thought I'd be so delighted at the possibility of surgery, but I am. Today's news opens the door again for cure (as opposed to management), so that is what I am focusing on.

I KNOW with every fiber of my body that the good thoughts and prayers that have been coming my way are helpful in every possible way, and I am eternally grateful. There are still many steps in this journey, but I feel truly strong because of the support and love I'm receiving from far and near, so thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

Heading down to Redwood City for our appointments this morning, John and I turned on the radio, and this is the very first song we heard...

Three Little Birds
Rise up this mornin',
Smile with the risin' sun,
Three little birds
Each by my doorstep
Singin' sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin', "This is my message to you: "

Singin': "Don't worry 'bout a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right."
Singin': "Don't worry (don't worry) 'bout a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right! "

Bob Marley is RIGHT!!!!!

xoxooxxoxo
Kerstin

Weekend Respite

John, Andy (the dog), and I spent the weekend at Lassen National Park, camping next to a burbling river and under an incredible wash of stars. It was a lovely way to spend the weekend, and also to celebrate out 17th wedding anniversary!

As there is no traditional gift for year 17 (like pearl for the 1st and silver for the 25th), I previously  joked that it was plumbing supplies (we are the midst of designing/ building our new house -- just got the septic permit!). Given the recent state of things, maybe it's really new breasts... :) All joking aside, the real gift is obviously the love and support we are receiving from our family and friends, and even the friends and family OF our friends and family. There is nothing like a health crises to make one realize the absolute grace within which we reside. I can't thank you enough for keeping us in your thoughts.

Tomorrow, the MRI and consult with the neurologist. I suspect the only news that will come of this is a date for the biopsy, which I hope they can conduct post haste.

xoxoxox
Kerstin